SURVIVE THE HEAT INFOPOST

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I just saw a post asking people in hot climates to make info posts on how to keep cool during summer, and seeing as I’m from Texas and haven’t had air conditioning in nearly 5 years, I figure I’m as good an expert as any. 

  • STOP FUCKING TANNING. Sorry. It’s not because I’m angry. It’s because my grandfather had skin cancer, my mother has skin cancer, and I will probably develop skin cancer and I’m just super impassioned about teaching people about the horrors of the Death Ball. But seriously. Keep as far away from the sun as possible. All the times I’ve nearly had heatstroke weren’t from the heat itself, but because of the sun. It’s evil. You will get sunstroke and you will die. 
  • Sunscreen is your friend. Yes. You. Even POC can develop melanoma. (And because it’s harder to spot and POC and even doctors often assume they can’t get it because yeah, it’s rare, it often goes undiagnosed until it’s too late.) I cannot emphasize enough how evil the sun is, so stay away from it. And wear sunscreen. I wear the Neutrogena Dry Touch, because it’s light and not greasy, and it was recommended by my mom’s dermatologist. But do your research because not all sunscreens are effective. Go for a high SPF but not too high. 100SPF=too high. Basically, the SPF increases how long you can be in the sun without burning. But a sunscreen with an SPF that high will wear off your skin before you get that much use out of it. In the summer, you will be sweating, so you need to reapply more often.  
  • Science-y thing: The sun is highest at noon, but that doesn’t mean that’s the hottest time of the day. Where the bulk of the heat you feel radiates up from the ground. Sunlight hits the ground where it is absorbed. It is then released into the air as longwave radiation in the form of heat. So the majority of sunlight is absorbed at noon, because that’s when the sun is highest, so the ground gets the most sun. BUT the hottest times of the day are going to be when the sunlight is radiated from the ground as longwave radiation. So the hottest times of day are going to be afternoon, usually like 1-4 pm, so avoid being outside at those times if you can. Here. Have a graph.
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  • THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT. HYDRATE HYDRATE HYDRATE!!!!!!!!!!! A big part of what kills people in the heat is dehydration. Carry around a big bottle of water like that thing is your child. Like you will die if you don’t have it. (Because you might.) Or in the words of Lewis Black, “AS IF THEY WERE CROSSING THE GODDAMN MOJAVE.” Because you might as well be. Your body needs water so drink that shit. Put lemon in it or something if you don’t like the taste. But you need to drink it or you will die. Especially when it’s hot. 
  • Avoid using your oven and stove. True story, I don’t have heat, so in the winter when it gets cold as shit (yes it gets cold in Texas, especially when the Gulf of Mexico is being a shithead and also, I think we are lke 99% the reason why it’s called climate change instead of global warming because all that icy shit that’s leaving the arctic isn’t evaporating, it’s just bringing its ass down here and ruining my finals week-ahem I digress) I will run my oven, then leave the door open while it’s turning off. I’ll also boil water on the stove and let it do that until it’s almost evaporated because it raises the amount of moisture in the air, making it more humid so it feels warmer. But in the summer, it’s still going to do that, so avoid boiling water and using your oven, because they’re going to make it hotter in your home. I found slow cookers aren’t as bad, so give those a shot if you have them and need to cook. 
  • Hey British people. You know how you make fun of Americans for drinking ice tea? Maybe stop, because there’s a reason why we do that. Seriously, stop drinking hot liquids. Why you do this? Chill your damn tea. It tastes great and will keep you cool. Just like eat as much cold food as you can and as little hot food as you can manage. Popsicles are your friend. You can make them at home if you have a freezer and some juice. Like juice an orange and make ice cubes with it. OH and frozen grapes are the absolute shit. They’re amazing and lovely and wonderful and look like little gems when they come out of the freezer. 
  • If you’re really in a bad way and need to cool down immediately, get some cold packs. My mom recommends soaking towels in water and freezing them. Prepare them in advance in case this happens. You want to put them on areas with major bloodflow. Wrists, neck, and yeah, your crotch. You might have to freeze your dick, sorry. But it’s better than heatstroke and it’ll help cool you down faster. 
  • Remember you can still get dehydrated if you’re in a swimming pool. Like, that sounds obvious, but it’s also easy to think the heat won’t get to you if you’re in a pool. But if you’re moving around and swimming, you can still sweat, so even if you’re cool, you can lose water. So stay hydrated.
  • Avoid alcohol. I mean it. Alcohol dehydrates you. You can have your margaritas and pina coladas by the pool, but drink water too. 
  • I know a lot of your buildings are poorly ventilated. Try to avoid places that are stuffy and don’t have a lot of airflow. Windows are your friend. Get them open. 
  • You can buy box fans online. I got one for $20. Splurge. (If you can.) You can also buy portable AC units but those are more expensive. 
  • DO NOT LEAVE CHILDREN OR ANIMALS INSIDE CARS. I take my dog for rides, but I blast the AC (the only place I have AC) and keep the windows down. I also only leave the car for a few minutes max. Also humidity+heat=mosquitoes=heart worms. Please protect your dogs. I don’t know how prevalent heart worms are in other places, but here, dogs need monthly prevention all year round. Make sure all animals have access to clean water. If you wouldn’t drink it, why should they? 
  • I dunno how effective this would be, but the past couple days I’ve been sleeping on the floor of an annex apartment while they finally fix my AC, and it’s been cold as shit down there. Heat rises, so maybe give the floor a shot in the heat. 
  • Cotton, cotton, cotton. Avoid polyester and leather and go for fabrics that breathe. Avoiding dark colors can help too. 
  • Just as a societal thing, don’t be a shithead to someone who is “scantily clad.” Why yes, it is hot, and no I didn’t wear this tank top and shorts for you. 
  • Sweating feels gross but it’s there for a reason. It’s your body’s way of cooling itself down, so let it happen. 
  • My mom added: If you stop sweating, you’re in trouble. If you’re outside or hot and you’re sweating and you suddenly stop sweating, you’re seriously dehydrated and need to get some water. Shaking, dizziness, and nausea are also symptoms to look out for. If someone faints, get them out of the sun and heat and call an ambulance.
  • You can tell how hydrated you are by the color of your urine. Your urine (unless you have some sort of kidney thing or something idk) should be a pale yellow. If it’s like a goldenrod color, you need water. Any darker, you’re in trouble. 

Time to get past cultural conditioning and try some new things. Here are some popular American summer recipes that are summer friendly:

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Published by stacystryke

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