Help my disabled mom leave my abusive dad
I don’t want to make this post. I’ve been putting it off because I thought that with time, the problem could go away on its own. It hasn’t.
My mom is a 53 year old woman with cauda equina syndrome. She was t-boned by a man running a red light and developed the condition in the 2000′s. Her Cauda Equina is a progressive and permanent condition which she will never recover from. She is losing the use of her legs and feeling in the lower half of her body, and she will someday be paralyzed. She falls down often and is too weak to stand on her own; she uses trekker poles to walk.
My father is an abusive alcoholic who beats my mom. He has been beating her since she was pregnant with me, at least. In the past year and a half, he was laid off and then fired from his career of 10 years, and started taking his rage out on my mom at night. These screenshots, from last week, were taken after the last time he beat her, which I hoped would be the last time. But last night, he beat my mom for refusing to have sex with him (she currently has a kidney/bladder infection and kidney stones, which got really bad before they were treated, because, again, she has little feeling in her lower body.) He has also raped her in the past while she was unconscious from her prescribed medications.
I don’t know where to turn. My mom needs to get as far away from my dad as she can. She doesn’t want to go to the police because he will retaliate. She has no money and few places to go. I think that if I could get her some money and send her down to Idaho to live with one of her (few remaining) friends she might be able to have a better life.
I don’t know how much I should be aiming for here. My mom needs transportation from Montana to Idaho, she needs money to survive down there, and she’s going to need money to buy a wheelchair.
I’ve tried making posts like this before to gather donations and get her out of my dad’s house, but the posts didn’t generate any money. If she had money, she could get away from him.
I’m scared for my mom right now. She’s not allowed to leave the house unless she’s coming to see me, she’s not allowed to have friends, she’s barely allowed to use facebook to communicate with family members. My dad has cut her off from everyone who cares about her. She’s a frail tiny woman and I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to her if she stays in my dad’s house any further. He punches her, throws her around, and is generally very physically abusive.
I’m afraid to make a youcaring/gofundme and risk my dad seeing it. If he knew what I was trying to do for my mom, I don’t know what he would do to her or me. Please just reblog this and if you can, donate to my paypal. I’m going to save the money for my mom until I can convince her to leave. I’m also selling my possessions to save funds for her as well. If you wanna buy something, check out my sales blog @danbosales
paypal.me/EmmaFalkner
Update, 6/30/17
So I made this post… a few days back? I’m not great with time, but I’m pretty sure it was this week. Already it’s generated over 1,000 dollars to help my mom out of her situation and I’m just… floored. I’ve never known such generosity and kindness before. This is truly an incredible show of community that I didn’t realize Tumblr had.
I thought now would be a good time for some updated information, including some questions which people have asked me to answer:
Yes, my mom receives ssdi for her disability, however it is not enough for her to live off of.
No, she does not have family she can safely go to. She is also not allowed to have friends in town, so that’s not an option. I also do not think I would be able to hide her at my apartment; my dad knows where I live.
No, I have not called the police. My mom spent a night in jail earlier this year for being disorderly after my dad abused her, and my dad has threatened that if she calls the police on him, he’ll get her thrown in jail again. She was abused by the institution where she spent the night and was in pain for over a week after being there. She is terrified of the cops, and my dad is a charismatic man.
Yes, there is now a youcaring! https://www.youcaring.com/jamiefalkner-864460 It is set to private so that he can’t find it.
No, I don’t have any way of receiving funds besides youcaring and paypal.
If my paypal . me link doesn’t work, you can send money to damedanbo@gmail.com
If you want something in return for donating, I’m still selling a lot of stuff at @danbosales and at MyFigureCollection
I can also offer traditional furry commissions if you’re interested in getting an oc or fursona drawn (my blog /tagged/my-art ) just send proof that you donated and I’ll draw whoever you want
And to everyone who has donated… thank you so much. Words can’t express my gratitude. I started crying when I checked paypal and saw the balance. You’ve all given me hope that I can get my mom away from him and give her a fresh start in life. We haven’t reached the end of the tunnel, but I can definitely see the light.