countesspetofi:

theparadoxmachine:

If you’re unfamiliar with Neuro Sleep, it’s a drink you can get at grocery stores and gas stations in the States (idk if it’s available elsewhere and I’m not gonna look for reasons that are about to become apparent) that contains, among other things, a healthy dose of melatonin. It’s safe to drink an entire bottle but normally I only drink a sip at a time, which is usually enough to get me relaxed enough to drift off, and still I’m often still drowsy the next day. 

I just drank a quarter of a bottle of the stuff. Which for me is like, “Good night everyone! See you in a couple days!” 

I swear the entire time I’m taking swigs of it, my dog is looking at me like DON’T GO WHERE I CAN’T FOLLOW. 

It’s okay, sweetie. Mommy’s just sleep deprived. Though if I’m fast asleep during this storm and there’s a tornado, we’re all screwed. 

Man, I wish there was something that could do that for me. Ambien, Lunesta, Benadryl, booze, melatonin, exercise, scrupulous sleep hygiene… My body decides whether it’s going to sleep or not sleep completely at random, and it usually chooses “not sleep.”

The only medication that ever reliably helped me sleep was something called Seroquel, but it also shot my blood glucose up to 400.

Sleep Clinic says that because I don’t have apnea there’s nothing they can do for me. No doctor will consider even one night’s worth of an old-fashioned barbiturate sedative just to let me try to reset my sleep clock.

I’m always a little bit happy when I find out I need to have more surgery, because I know I’m going to at least get a couple hours guaranteed sleep out of it. When it became public how Michael Jackson died, and the kind of sedation he was receiving, every lifelong chronic Insomniac I know just nodded understandingly. We all would have at least seriously considered the same thing with the same risk if we could afford it.

That’s awful. I’m sorry. 

I think it may be possible I have Delayed Sleep Phase more than actual insomnia. I definitely think my problem is more psychological than physical. I can’t ever get my brain to shut up. The melatonin helps my brain relax, but it stays with me and almost always makes me groggy the next day. Today’s not so bad, but if I have to work I have trouble concentrating. It’s a hard balance. If I don’t take enough, it doesn’t work, but if I take too much, I oversleep and am completely useless the next day. 

I hope someone comes up with a solution for you soon. ❤