Horatio George,
WILL YOU STOP WEDGING YOUR CHUNKY BUTT UNDER TIGHT SPACES-YOU KNOW THAT SCARES YOUR PEOPLE-MOMMY-I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU MOVING THE BED AROUND BECAUSE YOU. WEREN’T. MOVING.
I know you don’t like your collar. I know you don’t like the move. I get it. But I DO NOT NEED YOU GETTING STUCK OR SUFFOCATING OR ACCIDENTALLY HAVING YOUR LITTLE KITTY NECK BROKEN BY ME MOVING FURNITURE YOU’VE WEDGED YOUR CHUNKY BUTT UNDER. I DO NOT NEED THAT KIND OF STRESS RIGHT NOW.
NOW TAKE YOUR FLUFFY BUTT ONTO THE BED AND I EXPECT TO SEE YOU THERE WHEN I GET OUT OF THE SHOWER AND COME TO BED. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
Love,
Your People-Mom.
The Paradox Machine 