Number One: I am an embarrassment to my species.
Okay got that out of the way.
It took me longer to find a place to park than it did for me to drive there. I got more and more desperate as there weren’t a lot of signs telling me where I could park. Coincidentally, this is also when I suddenly got Boulevard of Broken Dreams stuck in my head.
I kept getting panic attacks because omg there were so many people. Every time though, the image of Godzilla would suddenly appear in the form of a poster or a t-shirt or something. I found his monstrous visage comforting during these troubled times, for reasons I can’t explain. He became like my spiritual guide through my journey. I picked up a godzilla plushie which I now cherish.
I didn’t get to see Billy Dee williams. I couldn’t find him.
I went to Fan Expo alone and without a plan.
These two facts are not coincidental.
I took a couple pictures of cosplayers. Not many though. I probably should have.
I met Paul Reubens.
I met him.
He was there.
He was more beautiful than I imagined. And I imagined him perfect.
I got to the booth where they were doing photos and while I was in line, I struck up a conversation with some guys who were really great and sweet. One of them kept roping me into the conversation instead of ignoring me and when they found out it was my first con, they were really sweet about it.
We got to the booth where he was. I saw Paul for the first time and immediately panicked. I must have looked like a frightened gazelle. But he was really sweet for the brief moments I was there. I wish I had gone to get his autograph too because apparently he was taking time to talk to fans then, whereas the people running the photo booth were rushing people through. Still he was perfect.
Also I did something kind of embarrassing.
So I go to leave and I wasn’t ready to and I felt I hadn’t expressed properly how amazing he is and how much he means to me. I would have given him a massive hug if I could have. But I settle for shaking his hand and telling him thank you so much. I tried to convey in tone that I meant not just for his appearance but for his entire existence, but I felt I wasn’t doing that properly so while I’m shaking his hand I just
take my other hand and cover the back of his hand with it. So I’ve got his hand between both of mine just…holding it.
Not for an uncomfortable amount of time (I hope) but
is that weird? I hope i didn’t make Paul Reubens uncomfortable.
I got home and it wasn’t until then that it struck me that might have been a weird thing to do. But then there’s this other part of me that keeps looking down at my own hands like
Yeah. You did that. Nice.
The Paradox Machine 