evilvalleygirl:

Some memorable quotes from Maxine Gray.

Interior Decorator: Usually I’m so perceptive of people. Come on… what’s changed? 
Maxine: Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I’ve cut my hair.

Board Member: We’re a little concerned that your director is a drug addict. 
Maxine: No, my director is a former drug addict. I myself am a former high school student, and everyone here used to poop in your pants. What’s your point? 

Maxine: Never wear fire for a hat… I haven’t any idea what it means. I read it in a bathroom stall once and it stuck with me. 

Maxine: By the way, I’m getting married a week from Saturday. I expect you to be there. 

Sean Potter: A week from Saturday? Maxine, why are you getting married a week from Saturday? 

Maxine: So I can have sex, Sean. Why else would anyone get married? 

Amy : [after being shouted out, Maxine rushes into the kitchen] Mom, are you OK? 
Maxine : [trying not to laugh] Of course, but I am 65 years old, and my boyfriend’s mother hates me 

Lauren Cassidy: What’s anorexia? 
Maxine: It’s a disease women get by reading magazines.