Dear people who say statements like the above scare away good men,
It fucking doesn’t.
When I started dating my current boyfriend we talked for 6 hours on our first date and 7 hours on our second. We talked about a shit ton of different topics, and one of those topics was politics and the #metoo movement. We talked about sexual harassment and sexual assault.
Every step along the way towards us having sex he asked for my consent. The first day we actually had sex he made sure I was ready and checked in on me several times to make sure I was still enjoying myself. He was amazing.
I had men who were trying to flirt with me grab at me before I even knew who they were. I’ve had creepy old men decide giving me a shoulder massage while I was sitting down the perfect way they could introduce themselves. That is the type of touching we want to stop.
Any of the guys that are scared off by women saying “don’t touch us unless we ask” are the exact type of guys that need to learn about consent, women’s bodily autonomy and personal space.
If you are concerned that becoming friends with a women in the Me Too era will read to someone accusing you of sexual harassment, you need to rethink how you interact with women.
I have a bunch of guy friends, and none of them are afraid I’m going to accuse them of anything. Do you know why? We are friends. We treat each other with respect. Any of them can hug me goodbye or put their arm around me and I know they won’t touch me inappropriately. But when we first met that wasn’t true. We built a friendship of trust.
I am a hugger, I like hugging people. My friends know this about me, but when I meet new people I always ask them if it is okay that I hug them. I have had people say no, and I respect that and do not hug them.
It is not hard to ask for consent.
If you think “Don’t touch a woman without her consent” is scary or difficult, YOU ARE NOT A GOOD MAN.
The Paradox Machine 