at my job we have to go through a training program that teaches us the library of congress classification system, and when i was first being trained my boss started to boot it up and she gave me a really anxious and guilty look and said “listen, i’m really sorry in advance, there’s nothing i can do about this, just…. just try to get through it” and i was like lol what’s she talking about and then the program loaded and i was greeted with a deliriously funny-looking photoshopped wizard with glowing eyes pointing at some intro message like “AH YES, JUST AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD… APPRENTICE, YOU COME AT A TIME OF MOST DIRE NEED… YOU MUST LEARN OUR WAYS” and my boss just looked at me helplessly and was like “i’m so sorry. it’s like two hours long.”
thankfully it wasn’t an elaborate fever dream and i have found screenshots
I laughed so damn hard at this, I fucking peed on myself.
I was watching Gordon Ramsay’s Hotel Hell, and there was this douchebag owner, who was underpaying his staff AND not paying them on time AND stealing their tips AND complaining that they weren’t performing to his expectations, and Ramsay told him
I said it once n Ill say it again. Let . girls. be. disgusting. little. oily. gremlins.
literally one of the biggest things I️ learned this year is that it’s okay to go out in public with messy hair. without makeup. in comfy clothes. you do not have to perform female attractiveness as some sort of toll just to EXIST in the world.
between depression and executive dysfunction, if i had to do my hair and make up every time i stepped out of the house, i’d never go anywhere. just go out. do it. hit people with your grocery cart if they say anything
black cats are wonderful because you can stare into the void and not only does the void stare back, sometimes it trots up to you happily and begs for pats
the void is loud and wants chicken
The void is sitting on my desk being obnoxious because it’s late and I haven’t gone to bed yet.
The Paradox Machine 