I feel like I should be ashamed of myself but honestly I’m kind of proud. I don’t think I’ve ever been a top tumblr for anything before.
Category: Uncategorized
I have absolutely no explanation for this.
Tornado Safety. From the Obvious Plant magazine. Buy or download the whole thing here.
Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like
“Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly”
that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtimealso, if you have intrusive violent thoughts, pretend they’re being said to u by an annoying backseat driver
“drive into that pole”
thanks karen or i could not do thatPerfect
you can also pretend that the Super Paranoid thoughts are being said by that conspiracy theorist in your history class
“maybe they poisoned you”
maybe you should fuck off, geoffrey-with-a-gOHH MAN I DO THIS SHIT EVERY DAY
My favorite for intrusive anxious thoughts is to pretend Spock’s behind you with an answer.
“did I lock the door-”
captain you have locked the door every day for over ten years, and it is very hard for most people to break even subconscious habits, so you most definitely locked the door
do you ever bite into a piece of cheese on bread and immediately find yourself as a true and honest shepherd boy in the 1300s who sometimes steals apples but is overall hale and truehearted
We’ve been watching the Blacklist and Paul Reubens has (finally) showed up as Mr. Vargas. I knew it was coming but not which episode or even which season. He comes onscreen and I didn’t say anything. There was a long silent moment then this happens.
Brother: Oh my god.
Brother’s GF: What?
Brother: That’s Pee-wee Herman.
Meanwhile I’m over on my side of the room like
“Hi there. I was just noticing you, noticing me, noticing you. Like my book? I’ve written a couple. I’m looking for a very special someone to dedicate the next one to. Know any body…special?”
some of you have never had a customer service job and it shows
IVE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR TO POST THIS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW
I’m crying.
i scheduled this a year ago..
The Paradox Machine 