sun-puddles:

mineyoung-churyuu:

hubriscomplex:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

8ddict:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

captainlordauditor:

some iconic dialogue that sounds like its from the great canon of literature but are actually from memes

  1. I will face God and walk backwards into Hell
  2. “I’ll do whatever you want” “then perish”
  3. I have been through hell and come out singing

feel free to add more!

  • There are no gods here
  • Do I look like the kind of man who dies
  • God’s dead and soon we will be too
  • I thought there were no heroes left in this world 

• you kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies

  • Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end
  • This is hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods
  • Bury me shallow, I’ll be back

– take this gift, for the gods surely won’t

  • God wishes he were me
  • One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled
  • God gave me depression because if my ambitions went unchecked I would’ve bested him in hand to hand combat by age 16

iamnotswarley:

futurebartallen:

celticpyro:

markedbyx:

eevielearnsfrench:

Can someone just………………. explain French to me?

its spanish but you speak it in cursive

You have 11 letters. You pronounce 4 of them.

Learn to speak spanish. Now learn to speak italian. Now subtract the spanish from italian. You are left with french.

Latin, but then make it fashion

mittiesue:

theparadoxmachine:

theparadoxmachine:

I’m legit about to lose a tooth. Am I being melodramatic by calling that a dental emergency?

Well I’m fucked.

My options are pull this tooth out myself and have a gap in my mouth and be mocked by my coworkers for missing teeth or wait until January, risk being in pain and unable to chew properly for that long until I can get to a dentist to get braces I can’t afford even with insurance and be mocked by my coworkers for having braces at 29.

Now seems like a good time to start drinking again.

It’s going to be alright, my dude. ❤️❤️❤️

1. The tooth that wants to come out is deciduous, right? Its whole purpose is to come out. If it has finally decided that now, after nearly 30 years of existence, it is ready to say goodbye to the gummed life, then I say let it be so!

1a. If it is literally loose enough that you think normal chewing could knock it out, then let that happen dude, you’re going to cause yourself so much more pain by trying to avoid it coming out if that’s what it wants to do.

2. Fuck your coworkers opinions, man.

2a. Are they really that shitty that you think this will be a prolonged problem? If so, dude, GTFO. Now that you have payroll experience getting another job won’t be nearly as bad.

2b. If it’s more that they might initially tease you for it, telling them the truth would be a good way to get them to shut up. I mean, it’s a deciduous tooth, it do how it be.

3. Adult braces aren’t that weird or bad. My mom got braces at 40 because her family couldn’t afford them when she was a child.

3a. Dude, you could get rainbow rubber bands for the braces, how rad would that be???!!

4. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be to have to deal with loosing a tooth as an adult, even if said tooth is a late bloomer and should have come out about twenty years ago. But man, it’s going to be okay. Child you handled this back then. You’ll be okay. ❤️❤️❤️

Yeah it’s deciduous. My main worry is that the permanent tooth is too impacted to descend on its own so I’ll have a visible gap until I can get it dealt with. And dealing with it will require surgery and braces.

My coworkers gossip a lot. My work “friend” seems to actually encourage it and then tells me what people say about me. Though tbh one guy told Dennis to fuck off to his face and faced no consequences so I could probably get away with telling someone to go to hell if I have to. I’m almost more afraid of people acting like it’s cute. I…do not want that….

Child Me most certainly did not deal with it. I’m sort of surprised this never came up but remind me to tell you about Child Me’s Adventures In Dental Crap aka Adults Are Horrible.

My greatest hope now is that if I have to pull this thing myself that I’ll be able to do it at work in front of someone because that’s be disgustingly badass and would probably get people to give me a wide berth went it comes to my teeth.

Tbh I think I’d go with black bands. It’s as -ahem- metal as I could get. Or black and red. That could be cool.

evilvalleygirl:

Some memorable quotes from Maxine Gray.

Interior Decorator: Usually I’m so perceptive of people. Come on… what’s changed? 
Maxine: Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I’ve cut my hair.

Board Member: We’re a little concerned that your director is a drug addict. 
Maxine: No, my director is a former drug addict. I myself am a former high school student, and everyone here used to poop in your pants. What’s your point? 

Maxine: Never wear fire for a hat… I haven’t any idea what it means. I read it in a bathroom stall once and it stuck with me. 

Maxine: By the way, I’m getting married a week from Saturday. I expect you to be there. 

Sean Potter: A week from Saturday? Maxine, why are you getting married a week from Saturday? 

Maxine: So I can have sex, Sean. Why else would anyone get married? 

Amy : [after being shouted out, Maxine rushes into the kitchen] Mom, are you OK? 
Maxine : [trying not to laugh] Of course, but I am 65 years old, and my boyfriend’s mother hates me 

Lauren Cassidy: What’s anorexia? 
Maxine: It’s a disease women get by reading magazines.