I’m listening to the audiobook of Fellowship of the Ring and when the narrator says “Frodo looked toward the sky” my dumb ass looked up.

Awwww Raoul thought he saw Satan and fainted.

I’ve seen and agreed with posts calling Eric a “melodramatic sewer goblin” but I’m less than a quarter of the way through this book and nearly every adaptation I’ve seen has toned it down. Holy shit.

Wait. I think the Phantom was actually standing in the shadows tossing skulls at Raoul like he was bowling. Eric seriously? That is one of the most ridiculously conspicuous things you could have done. If Raoul didn’t think something weird was going on before, he certainly does now.

Raoul probably thought Christine had a really shy and kind of weird boyfriend who could play music really well. Now he thinks she’s being stalked by Satan. What have you gained here?

“She was born deaf because Satan made her that way cuz I’m not supposed to have anything I like.”

Fuck this movie

Omg it’s so long. And makes no sense.

Holy shit

Paul and Michael Jeter were trying to force themselves on Bridget Fonda so she set Paul on fire and used the same lamp to stab Michael Jeter in the dick. The bad guys have MJ in a post office having his dick sewed back on by a blacksmith when the good guys hurl a sack with a rattlesnake stuffed in it through the window and hey maybe this shitty movie can be saved.

Even Nebbie wants me to stop watching this.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

I don’t know what Paul Reubens is doing in this movie but I’m pretty sure the phrase “Fuck it” was involved.