vampireapologist:

dragonkingofthestars:

vampireapologist:

boydyke:

vampireapologist:

bearisthename:

vampireapologist:

bearisthename:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

God I was at that restaurant in Annapolis yesterday that serves those 4 lbs milkshakes and these two dudes were just finishing one together and people were asking them for tips and they were like “you have to get like mint chocolate chip or something because if there’s no texture it gets too boring to finish” and all I could keep thinking was that it can only be a matter of time before some god wipes this town off the map and we will have earned it with our disgusting hubris

Everyone who has ever finished one of these will have it weighed against a feather when they die

Doable? Maybe

Listen. After the Burger Incident of 2016 I’ve learned to accept my fragile mortality and live within the boundaries set for humanity by the Universe.

I’m a little nervous but my curiosity is overwhelming~ what, pray tell, is the Burger incident of 2016?

In 2016 the day Pokémon Go came out I worked up a big appetite with my friends and we went to Steak ‘n Shake and I decided that none of the burgers looked big enough which…..I don’t know if I thought the photos on the menu were actual size I don’t know what was going on but

I asked the server for the biggest one they had and she said “that’s the 7×7, it’s not on the menu…you don’t want that”

And immediately my friends knew I was fucked because I felt challenged which I blame on my middle child syndrome and also on that I am by birth just an idiot so I ordered it without knowing competitive food bloggers write entire articles about this thing.

I sort of knew I was in trouble when the cook came to see who’d ordered it but I wasn’t backing down and in the end I ate all 1300 calories and THEN the fries and ALSO my shake and I had to go to my friend’s and take a three hour nap and when I woke up I was so fucked up that I just started eating leaves straight off her mint plant because antacids weren’t going to cut it.

Then I complained for like two days and Ultimately I learned absolutely nothing.

In case anyone wanted a visual for the 7×7

Hubris

When you can’t decided between pride and gluttony so commit both sins at the same time.

This is the only comment allowed now

thegreyacefromspace:

gunpowder-tea:

ohleadme:

somniae:

If you don’t have means to a therapist or mental health professional

Check out therapistaid.com. There’s worksheets there that you can download for free.

Of course it would be a lot more beneficial if you have a therapist to help you through it but not everyone has access to one.

It’s a free site where you can have free downloads of worksheets on many things.

If there’s something there that you think would be helpful, print it out and complete the worksheet on your own.

It’s hard to be accountable for yourself but at least there’s a way for you to have some insight and work on yourself.

Also if you use these in conjunction with the app Wysa

therapistaid is great, i get resources from there to use with my clients. here are some others

https://psychologytools.com/

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/

https://www.actmindfully.com.au/free_resources_worksheets,_handouts_and_book_chapters

https://www.anxietybc.com/

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

Thank you.

gayrightsactivia:

Another day, another turned on by default notification feature that no one asked for. If you, like me, have been puzzled by tumblr sending you push notifications to let you know a mutual has made a post, the above is the reason why. You can find this in settings under notifications.

You no doubt know the rest at this point because this is like the 6th feature in a row you need to disable to keep this blue dumpster semi usable.

couchcushings:

justastormie:

ifigaveyouthemoon:

Does anyone who’s seen old horror movies have any recs? Specifically ones with Vincent Price/Peter Cushing/Christopher Lee, because I’ve been hearing recently that these guys are awesome and I want to try out some of their work but not sure where to start (I’ve seen Star Wars and LOTR already, obviously). 

(Actually, it doesn’t have to be just horror, but that’s what they’re best known for apart from the aforementioned fandom stuff, so I thought I’d start with that.)

@justastormie I’m tagging you because I know you like at least 2 of those dudes so feel free to reblog with comments/ask/message me if you have any suggestions (same goes for anyone else! Please share your knowledge with me!)

Your local Horror Trio Expert here to help you decide which movies you’ll like best from the boys. I’ll give ya lists for Lee and Price, but will throw it to @couchcushings for Pete as she’s the resident Cushing Expert. 

Vincent Price- My Main Squeeze

House of Wax (1953)– Horror. Every creepy wax museum movie has this in it’s heritage, and for once the original really is the best. It’s creepy. It’s tense. It’s one of my favs. Upside: Creepy as fuck, great performances, Carolyn Jones shows up and is amazing.  Downside: The end scene gets a lil silly. I really had to think for this one, it’s such a good movie.  See also: Mad House (1974), House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Tales of Terror (1962)– Horror…ish? Okay so back in the day people loved making anthology films. This is a set of three horror stories starring Vincent Price and Peter Lorre, directed by the great Roger Corman. But the thing about these are. That even while they can be super creepy they are fucking hilarious. Price and all of his co-stars went into this movie determined to chew every bit of scenery, they ham it up MAGNIFICENTLY. But the amazing thing is they do it with such sincerity, with such a wealth of honest human emotion that you connect with every single character. Their acting says Humans Are Ridiculous And Ain’t It Grand. Upside: Funny, spooky, everyone from the actors to you are gonna have a great time. Downside: Not for traditionalist interpretations of old horror stories. I love the fresh coat of paint but it ain’t everybody’s style. See also: Twice-Told Tales (1963), The Raven (1963) 

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)– Cult Classic. Arguably horror. How to describe this movie. There are puns and scenery chewing and a guy gets killed by a flying unicorn head. This is a weird movie that never once apologizes for being weird. It’s humor is black, it’s cinematography is gorgeous and it is so. weird. Weird and wonderful. I watch a lot of movies but there is nothing I’ve ever seen that compares. Upside: Hilarious, Unique Script  Downside: Just leave your logic at the door okay, you won’t need it. Embrace the weird.  See also: Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

The Conqueror Worm (1968) – Also called The Witchfinder General. Commonly regarded as Price’s best performance outside of the period horror circles. For some reason a lot of people wanted to make movies about Evil Assholes Who Burned People As Witches at this point in history. But then Price did this one and everyone went “….well nobody is beating that, let’s go home I guess”. It’s gory, it’s tense, it’s a great drama and a great humans-are-the-monster horror flick. Upside: great horror, great monologues  Downside: Not for the faint of stomach. Rape is a frequent threat and occurrence. Notable: The character Shadwell from Good Omens directly references this movie a couple of times. 

The Baron of Arizona (1950) – Western Drama. One of my favorite movies. Price is a conman who tries to swindle the US out of the ENTIRE STATE OF ARIZONA. Based on a true story if you can believe it. Upside: Fantastic if you’re a fan of westerns, as the director subverts a lot of those tropes. Great heist movie.  Downside: Kinda slow in the beginning, female main’s char development is shit. 

Dragonwyck (1946)– Old Timey Gothic Story, also starring Gene Tierney (as the beautiful farm girl who gets dropped in some upper class shit) and Frankly Pornographic Shots Of A Castle.  Upside: Fantastic acting from Tierney and Price with a great non-traditional horror ending.  Downside: sometime the writing of women is Cringeworthy.  Notable: Commonly considered Price’s first turn at a horror flick, and it would garner him a lot of similar gothic roles in the future.  See also: House of Usher (1960), The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)

The Great Mouse Detective- Vincent Price is an Evil Rat. He Sings. It’s the single greatest Sherlock Holmes Adaption ever. My honest answer to the greatest movie of all time. 

Christopher Lee- IS A MENACE 

Penny and the Pownall Case (1948)- Spy Thriller. co-starring the babiest christopher lee, this is a short and delightful romp centering on a female model ferreting out nazis. It’s as awesome as it sounds. Extremely cute. His first role with some prper screentime. 

Horror of Dracula (1958) – Though he’d go on to play a swoon-and-terror worthy Dracula, this is by far the best movie of the lot. Luckily it’s also the first. A…shall we say erratic adaption of Stokers book, that is saved by a STELLAR cast. Every single person who acts in this movie is flawless. Cushing makes a great Van Helsing, the Harkers are both great, the bit parts are great. And, naturally, Lee KILLS IT as the menacing Count. 

(As far as which other Dracula movies in the series to watch, weeeell. There are good points in all of them. Prince of Darkness (#2) is easily the worst, but there’s an interesting subplot. Dracula AD 1972 is ridiculous but also Peak Dracula Menace and has good leads. Really it’s a crapshoot with the others, but it’s worth it to suffer the bad for the good.) 

Corridors of Blood (1958) Horror. It’s got Boris Karloff and Christopher Lee. They’re great. It’s great. Go, go watch it.  See also: To The Devil A Daughter (1976), The House That Dripped Blood (1971), Dark Places (1973)

The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960) Drama, Horror. This is a GREAT adaption of Jekyll and Hyde, one of my favorites. Lee is, for once, not playing a villain and does a great drunken wastrel. Also it Very Pointedly beats up on bullshit Victorian societal norms. It’s great. 

I, Monster (1971) Horror. A more traditional take on the Jekyll/Hyde story, this time with Lee in the central role. Good adaption, Lee acts his ass off. The Spencer Tracey version everybody raves about is basically a shot for shot remake of this. Only major downside is that Hyde makeup. Yikes. See also: The Devil Rides Out (1968), 

The Creeping Flesh (1973)  One of my favorites. It’s got a schlocky plot but the personal drama in this is Gr9. Fascinating characters, fascinating relationships. Lee doesn’t show up until later in the movie, but he makes a great impact. Also you get to enjoy Cushing running around being cute. 

House of the Long Shadows (1963) This is an ensemble cast with Cushing, Price and Carradine. It’s a complete scream. The characters are wonderfully snarky, the spooks are genuinely spooky and everyone so clearly has a ham of a time making it. Sadly the ending is The Worst. But it’s well worth watching the rest of the movie. 

The Wicker Man (1973) Horror, mostly psychological. In which Christopher Lee scares the crap out of everyone by playing a cult leader VERY convincingly. It’s weird. It’s well shot. It’s an acting masterpiece. 

Jinnah (1998) Christopher Lee plays Muhammad Ali Jinnah in a badass biopic. How can a biopic be badass you say? A combination of a tremendously accomplished, complex subject and a master actor at the height of his craft. A great weighty film that once and for all drove a stake through every critic’s heart that ever said Lee was just a horror actor. They can can eat his undead ass. See also: The Devil Ship Pirates (1964), Triage (2009)

The Girl from Nagasaki (2013)  literal masterpiece. a film version of Madame Butterfly. Cinematography porn. tbf Lee isn’t in it much, but what he is he slays. I just really want people to watch this movie. 

And okay one more for Lee, this isn’t…a recommendation per sey. But you haven’t lived until you’ve see The Whip And The Body (1963). Which is a sado-masochistic period thriller. At a time when you can barely show blood. A Ghost is involved. It is The Weirdest…but also really good in some parts? Yeah it’s. It’s an Experience. See also: Horror Express (1972), Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors (1965)

hi sorry that got a little long. but. m’boys. feel free to shout about any of the horror trio in my messages/inbox etc. i love seeing people watch their movies for the first time. 

@justastormie i already replied to this but since you practically wrote a dissertation complete with footnotes… let’s get to Pete:

(actual footage of me giving @justastormie the sideeye)

First off, he’s a
little shit in most of the movies he’s in and I FULLY enjoy that.
Like I said in my extremely incoherent reply, I started my descent
into madness at midnight on Halloween when SOMEONE who shall remain
nameless was like hey happy all hallow’s you should watch this
movie. I haven’t looked back once. And I don’t regret it.

At this point I
think my fave of Pete’s movies is either Dracula (1958), Brides of
Dracula (1960, which, sadly, doesn’t involve Stormie’s boy
Chris), or The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

Let’s talk about
the Dracula franchise first:

Horror Of Dracula
or Dracula 1958

So
this is the first one and, arguably, the best. It’s not my fave
(see either Brides or AD 1972) but is the BEST. It involves Pete
hunting down Chris and trying to save the honor (and, to a lesser
extent, lives) of every woman in Karlstad. The costumes are rad af
and the acting is probably the best out of the series. It also
involves Michael Gough (aka Alfred in the Michael Keaton Batman
movies) being an extremely good Arthur Holmwood. All he wants to do
is save Mina. Spoiler, tho, it’s nothing like the book. Hammer has
this weird tendency to rewrite things go serve its purposes. (Which
is why I think all these movies occur in the same universe ala
Marvel, but don’t get me started.) 9.5/10

Brides of Dracula
(1960)

Wow, OK, this one might be my fave. It’s got Pete being all
chivalrous and serious and shite. He saves sweet, French Marieann
from a fate worse than death and has a remarkable number of shirts
for someone who hunts vampires for a living a gives metaphysics
lectures on the side. He is so gentle with her too and gentle men
(and gentlemen, for that matter) are my JAM. (Side note, in this
movie a lot of people call him ‘doctor’ and someone calls him a
preeminent man in medicine but HE’S NOT THAT KIND OF DOCTOR OK.
Sorry.) Anyways, there’s a wee bit of romance in this one so like
9/10 it’s good.

Dracula A.D. 1972
(1972, duh)

I
fully expected this one to be absolutely horrible. I was…
pleasantly surprised. I actually liked it. Chris has lines in this
one and is, as my learned colleague said, as ‘peak menace’. Pete
at this point is literally the sweetest old man in existence and yet
I would still let him– wait, I’m getting off track. Either way, in
this one he plays his own grandson… or something like that. He’s
Lorrimer (wow, ‘Lorrimer’? Sorry abt that my dude) Van Helsing
and he lives in London with his granddaughter Jessica who is
beautiful and bright and tries to take the fact that her sweet old
grandpa studies bloody mythology for a living. The aesthetic is pure
‘70s and it’s tacky as FUCK and I adore it 10/10.

The Satanic Rites
of Dracula (1973)

Honestly
I got like halfway through this and gave up. The production values
were all over the place, they recast Jessica with that one really
thin aunt from James and The Giant Peach (Aunt Spiker??) and there
were boobs literally everywhere like I get it, it’s the ‘70s,
chill tf out 4/10. (Pete and Chris were the only two good things
about this movie, and they were fantastic.)

The Legend of the
7 Gold Vampires (1974)

Full
confession I haven’t seen this but I gather in involves jungles and
maybe karate idk.

So
now onto my garbage can son, Victor Frankenstein:

Curse of
Frankestein (1957)

Pete
is honestly just…… so hot in this movie I had a hard time
watching it. He plays a WONDERFUL asshole and he’s worryingly good
at it. Chris is also in this movie but, since movie Frankenstein’s
Monsters can’t talk, he doesn’t have any lines. This movie does,
however, mark the beginning of Terry Fisher (hammer director and one
kinky-ass-mofo) having Chris choke Pete in movies. It became a Thing
and honestly idk. Victor is
a straight up dick who will do anything to get what he wants and it’s
chilling to watch sweet, kindly Peter Cushing transform into a
complete ass-hat 10/10

Revenge of
Frankenstein (1958)

Victor
is still an asshole, now operating out of… somewhere in eastern
Europe, idk they don’t say. He runs a charitable hospital and
basically farms the poor for body parts. He is a Shitty Human Being.
He builds a new body for some guy and well it doesn’t end well but
Pete takes his shirt off at the end so it’s a solid 8/10.

Evil of
Frankenstein (1964)

Victor
tries to choke a priest in the first five minutes of the movie and
then spends the next hour or so alternating between crying about how
no one likes him and being a sassy little shit to literally everyone.
Oh, and electrocuting himself like a hundred times. It’s not
really part of the series, but it is Hammer’s answer to the
Universal Frankenstein movies and I adore it 10/10

Frankenstein
Created Woman (1967)

I
didn’t finish this movie either but like it involves the usual
Victor shit. EG being an asshole, raising the dead, etc. etc. 5/10

Frankenstein Must
Be Destroyed (1969)

I’m
salty enough over this movie that it would take up an entire post
0/10

Frankenstein and
the Monster From Hell (1974)

I
haven’t seen this and quite frankly I don’t understand the
premise AT ALL but I guess it involves Victor finally loosing his
mind and possibly aliens.

So
those are the two major series that he was in but there are about a
thousand good stand alones so here we go:

Hound of the
Baskervilles (1958)

This
is the first movie I saw The Boys™ in and I LOVE IT. Pete is such
a sassy Holmes (I’d like to refer you to any of @charlesdances
Cushing!Holmes gifs they’re all amazing and she has an entire one
dedicated to how sassy he is.) Full disclosure, I’ve been obsessed
with Sherlock Holmes since I was a teenager and Peter is just…
Sherlock Holmes. From the cheekbones to the eyes to the way he walks
idek anymore it’s SUCH a good movie just watch it 10/10 (He also
played Holmes in a BBC mini-series that only has like four surviving
episodes BUT they’re mostly all on YT thanks to the Peter Cushing
Appreciation Society and they’re also Quality Entertainment.

The Mummy (1959)

I
have this on bluray and it’s so high-def I feel like crying every
time I watch. Pete and Chris are both in this one, too. Although,
again, since he’s playing the monster, Chris doesn’t have any
lines. But he provides SUCH a presence like you can only see his
eyes, but you always know what kind of emotion he’s
trying to convey. Pete is so cute with the girl playing his wife and
he gives her a little kiss at one point and I felt faint honestly.
Again, Hammer fucked around with the Way Things Are in this one and
created its own pantheon of Egyptian gods for yknow shits ‘n
giggles. (Another piece of proof as to how Hammer just created its
own universe.) Chris wears eyeliner in this one 10/10

Night Creatures
(1962)

Priest
Kink™ and Pirates 10/10

The Gorgon (1964)

All
That Glitters Is Not Gold and Really Bad Facial Hair. All joking
aside, this one is pretty good and involves and highly underrated and
involves gorgons (except, its a gorgon you’ve never heard of,
which, again, Hammer created its own universe) 7/10

She (1965)

This
movie is really all about Ursula Andress’ magnificent bossoms, but
some other things get screen time. Like Pete. With a really fab
beard. And Chris is also in this movie and he cowers whenever Ursula
Andress talks, but lbr, who wouldn’t. And Ustane (who is sweet and
lovely and deserved Better) and Bernard Cribbins and some generic
white dude. Honestly the moral of this movie is Don’t Think With
Your Dick 6/10

The Skull (1965)

So
so so so tense. This movie is good suspense and probably one of the
best stand alones. Pete and Chris are both in it, but Chris doesn’t
hang around for long. But it’s gr8 psychological horror 9/10

The Blood Beast
Terror (1968)

I
don’t understand the plot of this movie AT ALL and it’s
needlessly long, but they do a mock Frankenstein play and troll Pete
a little 4/10

Horror Express
(1972)

8/10

House of Long Shadows (1983)

Typical ‘80s horror movie except BETTER because it involves all the horror legends and Chris calls Vinny a bitch near the end 10/10

Anyways, I really love Peter Cushing A LOT and have links to a lot of his movies on YT so y’all ever want  any just ask.

PS. The Great Mouse Detective is OBJECTIVELY THE BEST Sherlock Holmes Ever. The End.