Stop saying the dwarves of Khazad Dum ‘dug too greedily and too deep’ DWARVES DIG. IT’S WHAT THEY DO. I did’t see any of you popping over to let Durin VI know that he’s on top of a Balrog, how was anyone supposed to know! Saying it was ‘too deep’ or ‘too greedy’ is just Sindar propaganda, as if yall weren’t super content to sit pretty and huff weed in Menegroth while everyone else did the heavy lifting. Maybe if you’d done ANYTHING during the first age there wouldn’t BE a balrog under there in the fIRST PLACE!!! EVER THINK OF THAT? CELEBORN?
I don’t know what Cartoon Vampire Vincent Price over there is offering me but I would drink it even if it killed me
Cartoon Vampire Vincent Price is from Scooby-Doo and the 13 ghosts. He was called Vincent Vanghool because they where only half trying to convince you he wasn’t just Vincent Price.
i love how in “flotsam and jetsam,” when they’re sitting smoking in the ruin of isengard, pippin observant took is completely convinced that saruman is just some dude with a cool looking house. just sitting there smoking weed like “oOOOoooo i’m saruman, i’ve got mAcHiNeS.” pippin’s takeaway from the ents wrecking saruman’s shit is that saruman isn’t even that powerful, just fooled everyone into thinking he was with his cool house and machines, and how cool can those even be if treebeard can stomp on them, hmmMMM?
aragorn is like “pippin he helped create the universe i’m pretty sure he’s actually powerful”
and pippin just insists that no, he’s just some loser dude with a cool house. like he’s not even smart. look around you, strider, do the math.
firmly believe that the hobbit movies went out of their way to make Ori into a cute patootie just to make the scene in FOTR where they find his body 10 million times more upsetting.
reblog if you too have been personally victimised by the LOTR wiki
there’s always that jerk named kevin that shows up in cartoons
it’s a bitch name
anyone remember the kevin story
What is the Kevin story?
someone once made a legendary post on reddit, asking who is the dumbest person youve ever met. Kevin wasn’t special needs or anything, but he sure was one interesting character. the gist of it can be found in these bullet points:
“
It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn’t been wiped off
the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based
on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his
family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic
pinnacle of this null achievement….So here’s a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he’s laughing uncontrollably:”
Kevin
ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next
day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin’s
dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me…his English teacher.
This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give
to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school,
Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire….twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn’t him.
Kevin
stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it
was ringing. (Not that it wasn’t his, not that he did it…..no, he
denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times
before the end of the year.
Kevin
called the basketball coach a “Motherfucking Bitch” during gym.
Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn’t go
well.
Kevin’s
mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several
meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went
to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin
kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He
thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and
threw up.
Kevin said the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student’s Iphone….and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin
didn’t understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes,
homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first
semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said “You should get out of those wet clothes”. The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library…..at the circulation desk….while he was logged on.
Kevin
asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don’t go to
prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin
regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over,
grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name
on it wherever there was room.
Kevin
had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember
what they were. They were very concerned that “the holiday party” would have peanuts. When they finally
got a doctor’s note….he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin
and his parents took a trip to Nassau and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn’t believe
him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing
when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin’s grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
The Paradox Machine 