its-going-down:

meckamecha:

daily-bad-jokes:

daily-bad-jokes:

occasionally the universe orders one of its many snipers to fire a warning shot at me. not to cause any (physical) harm, mind you. they’re just reminders that the universe hates me and could snuff out my puny little life anytime it wishes.

today that warning shot came in the form of my microwave burrito being completely empty. no filling. just tortilla.

how can you look at this and still believe the world is kind and just

It has filling. The filling is more tortilla

mysticismmess:

unsuspecting catholic: is this a mortal sin or just a venial sin? Is it a mortal sin to be okay with doing a venial sin? what if I die tomorrow?

Martin Luther, stepping out from the shadows: it’s all mortal sin

catholic: all bad deeds are mortal sins?

Martin Luther: bad deeds, good deeds

catholic: good deeds are mortal sins??

Martin Luther: no time to explain. it’s not safe here. I–

John Calvin: descends shrieking from the ceiling