“A very old man came in to my Starbucks. Halfway through struggling to understand his order through his thick accent, he noticed my necklace. He stopped and said “Your star is beautiful.”, and I thanked him. There was a long pause before he spoke again. When he did, he said “It is beautiful, but I am having a hard time looking at it. The last time I wore one, it was mandatory.” We then spoke to each other in Hebrew for a bit. But soon enough he stopped again, and looked back to my star. With one hand he held mine, and used his other hand to shakily touch the sapphires on my necklace. His lip shook, and tears rolled down his cheeks. In a shaky, heavily German-accented whisper, he said “I am so happy you are here. Your generation is here. We won.” and kissed my hand.✡”
jackymedan you’re definitely not being unreasonable.. they’re definitely not being very considerate (at all).. the least they could do is tell you they’re going out to eat and ask if you’re ok on your own or if you need something, like.. eating regularly is important in general, both for your mental health and your physical health.. also I’m so sorry they’re not offering you any proper emotional support when you literally tell them you’re struggling you have every right to be upset about these things.. *hugs real tight* again, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.. I hope you’ll find your own place again soon and get your dog back.. I’m sure he misses you too and will be thrilled to see you again! hang in there <333 (2/2)
Thanks ❤ ❤ ❤
Thanks especially for saying that about my dog. My mom sent me pictures of Arthur. He seems okay. He’s so friendly and happy and adaptable. I’m glad he’s not freaking out and pining, but I sometimes feel I miss him way more than he misses me. I’m thinking about taking a weekend trip to see him sometime soon.
I think I’m slowly getting through to my mom. She hasn’t argued much against me getting medications like she used to. I think she’s finally understanding that there’s something really wrong with me and I need help. I think it’s just hard for her to accept. Like she’s been in denial about. I think my brother’s just kind of clueless about it.
We did eat dinner together tonight. And actually healthy food, like chicken and vegetables. I think my body is happier than it was.
There was a really realistic wreck in the show I’m watching. Not one of those out of nowhere smash fests that would be a sudden death collision in real life but somehow results in the hero walking away with only a cut on his face. Just an out of control car collided with something, a very accurate sound, and the passenger getting fairly realistic looking whiplash.
I immediately got a headache and felt nauseated.
I’ve had nightmares after my wreck. Bad ones. I still flinch in cars. I hate driving. I hate riding but it’s a bit better. I’ve gotten better but I still have problems.
Does that sound like ptsd? My mom thinks I might have it. Seems like just one more thing to tackle in the therapy I may never get.
you think your crush is laying in bed thinking about you but in reality they’re reading about swords on Wikipedia
I didn’t eat dinner again.
This time they went out and got food without me. My door was open and I came out before they left, they saw me.
I know I shouldn’t be upset about it, but I feel like I keep saying how bad my mental situation is, and everyone’s response is that shrug image everyone uses that I’ve never figured out how to create. I have actually literally used the words “I need help” and everyone’s like okay. Literally the least anyone can do is make sure I eat. No one needs to buy me food, but at least if you’re not going to include me in your plans, let me at least stock the damn pantry.
And it’s also upsetting because last week was the anniversary of my dad’s passing, and it just passed by me. It was my second day at the job, I couldn’t think of anything else. And we had a rocky relationship and he was the source of a lot of my problems, but I know if he was here and knew my brother had just walked out of the apartment without saying anything, without offering to pick something up for me, hadn’t even told me I was on my own for dinner…it wouldn’t be pretty. My dad was a mentally unstable rage addict, but there were times when he was my only defender. But because of the former, I absolutely hate it when I’m made to actually miss him.
I feel like, I’m living here rent-free (despite offering to contribute to rent-they refused) so I have no right to complain. But I moved in here because I thought it would be better for my mental health. I’ve put effort into not spreading a bunch of stuff everywhere. I do dishes and clean up, not just after myself, but in general. I’ve cleaned out their cats’ litter box while maintaining mine. Like I’m not just dead weight.
Am I being unreasonable here?
I think I really need to move out soon. I’ve started looking for places. I want my dog back but everytime I ask my mom how he is, she tells me he’s fine, he’s great, he loves the big backyard. And I’m glad he’s fine but there’s that voice in the back of my head telling me he’s better off without me.
And I know this is mostly the depression talking. But that’s why I need to eat goddammit.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this on my blog before, but something that really strikes me about Man from U.N.C.L.E. is how the first episode (or the pilot movie) ends with Napoleon looking out an airplane window at the innocent hugging her family with a wistful, almost regretful expression.
But, we never see this trait from him again. Because, by only a few episodes later in the season, most of the time, Napoleon ends the episode with Illya at his side. He’s not lacking in the sort of intimate, personal relationship with another person that he clearly longed for in the first episode.
Just another way that Napoleon is the anti-Bond: he has someone that he loves and trusts on a deeply personal, unique level, and he’s still a badass globe-trotting spy.
The Paradox Machine 