Uncategorized – Page 507 – The Paradox Machine

I am seriously considering drinking an entire Neuro Sleep and trying to stay unconscious until either my bladder or my dog wakes me up.

Source: thosefunnyones

shouldnt:

FREEDOM

Urrgghhh like everyone is off tomorrow, including me, except I don’t get paid holidays. I’m part time and on wages not salary. So all I get is Days The Office Isn’t Open. Which means, once again, my entire work week schedule needs to get flipped around and I have to come in on my normal day off instead so I can get my hours in and my poor tired brain never understands that. Which means on Wednesday, it’s going to think we have Thursday off and not understand why we have to go to bed early, and I’m going to be exhausted on Thursday and my entire body clock is going to be a mess again and THIS IS CAUSING ME SO MUCH STRESS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I HATE WHAT HOLIDAYS DO TO ME.

holyromanhomo:

ourexes:

he came for his entire life holy shit

Source: ourexes

thorneytowers:

this is a text post about frankenstein. in the book there’s none of this “it’s alive” bullshit frankenstein takes one look at that thing & is like “whoa, that’s kind of nasty, i’m going to bed”

This day has done things to me. Done things to me and done things to my eyeliner.

aquaman-shoes:

One of my all-time favorite twitter threads

Source: aquaman-shoes

lewadnowski:

put in the tags where youre from and how many times you kiss ppl on the cheek to greet them…. its for my Research

I was gonna show you guys the beautiful stickers I got from redbubble, and the tracking information said they’ve been delivered but they’re not here and I’m tired and misspelling everything and I want my stickers.